Travel Policies and Prohibited Items

I’m going camping at Catalina Island off the coast of Southern California this weekend. We’re taking a ferry out to the island and when I was making my reservations today, I noticed this extremely thorough list of prohibited items (see below):

Acids, batteries, boxes (except those containing apparel or mechanic’s tools), camp stoves and lanterns (except electric or when propane or butane canisters are removed), charcoal, chinaware, human corpses, construction materials, cots, dangerous articles, explosives, firewood, fireworks, food stuffs, furniture, gambling devices, gasoline, glass or glassware, guns (loaded), household articles, inflammable materials, internal combustion engines of any kind, jewelry, kerosene, liquids, lumber, matches, merchandise, motorcycles, nails, outboard motors, perishable articles, paint, paint thinner, private papers or articles of extraordinary value, produce, televisions (except portable), tires, trail bikes, typewriters (except portable), and wire.

If you didn’t catch it, read again, but look in the “c’s.” That’s right, they prohibit you from carrying human corpses on the boat. Now, I’m not exactly a world traveller, but I have been to a few places, and I’ve never even thought of transporting a human corpse somewhere. I don’t even know why someone would want to take a human corpse on the ferry to Catalina Island. Burial at sea? Strange cult corpse ritual that must be performed on a moonlit night on an island in the Pacific? Don’t want to leave the corpse at home with the dog for the weekend and couldn’t find a spot in the kennel for Fido so you had to bring the corpse instead? I can’t figure it out. Not to mention the fact that the baggage requirements state that each person only gets 2, 70-pound-maximum, 21x24x36 inch bags. I don’t even know if you could fit a corpse in a bag of that size.

I wish I knew the story behind this rule. I wish I knew the stories behind lots of weird rules.

Free Stuff on Craigslist

So I’m getting ready to move across the country and I’m trying to get rid of some of my extra stuff. I’m trying to get rid of a car, a Weber gas grill, an old, piece-of-junk dresser, and a REALLY old whitewater kayak. I decided to use craigslist to move all of them. Of course, I’m trying to sell the car and the grill (because they have actual value), but I chose to post the kayak and the dresser in the “free stuff” section of craigslist. I’m a big fan of craigslist, and I know how helpful the site can be for helping people find new places to live. Also, it’s easy to see how enabling the site can be for people who need things, need to get rid of things, or just need attention. And we all know that there are lots of people out there with lots of crap that somebody else might want. (See the now-well-overhyped Kyle MacDonald blog for an example of how people trade stupid crap for other stupid crap.)

But anyway, back to my own little revelation: not only are people willing to buy and trade just about anything, but they’re doing it with surprising speed and in surprising numbers. Immediately after I posted my kayak and dresser online, and before I could even navigate to craigslist to find my posting, I had an email in my inbox from someone who wanted it. That was an hour ago. I now have 45 emails from people who want my dresser and/or kayak. And trust me, neither of these things are very high quality. The dresser is made of particle board and cardboard and the kayak is at least 15 years old (so old that I can only find two references to the model on the internet – one from 1998 and one from 2001).

Anyway, neither is worth more than about 20 dollars, and I was more interested in finding someone who would love the boat to take it off my hands. (The dresser is another matter. Whoever takes it can burn it in some pagan ritual for all I care.) Despite the clear demand for a free kayak, I’m honoring my posting and giving the boat to the first person to respond. She’s extremely enthusiastic (I’ve included the text of her first email below), so I’m hoping she’ll enjoy it.

> >O)MG---I cannot believe someone is really giving this away!!!
> >
> >My daughter and I took Kayak lessons a year ago and have wanted one ever
> >since---OMG--we would be so happy---so grateful to have this---it would
get
> >lots of use, love & TLC!!
> >
> >I would be infinitely grateful for any consideration---I have a truck and
> >can readily pick up at your availability and convenience!!!
> >
> >CHEERS!
> >
> >.··-.¸.-··. (`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)
> >`·. .·´ «´¨`·*NAME CENSORED*·´¨`».,'`.
> >    `·´ (¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`'·.¸)`·´)'

Still, part of me wishes that I’d asked for some creative trade-in for this boat. I mean, if that MacDonald guy can get a house for his lame paperclip, imagine what I could have gotten for my kayak.

Zidane Awarded Golden Helmet

Despite losing in the World Cup Final to Italy yesterday, Zinedine Zidane has been lauded with awards today. This morning, it was announced that he had been awarded the Golden Ball (awarded to the tournament’s MVP). Now, we are thrilled to break the news that Zidane has also been awarded the Golden Helmet (see image below). The Golden Helmet, a trophy that looks like the World Cup Trophy with a gold viking helmet affixed to the top of it, is a new award. From now on, it will be awarded to the player who has had the biggest impact on the tournament with his head.

Zidane was proud to be the first player ever to be awarded the Golden Helmet. While he was lovingly caressing the trophy, he paused on the long white horns and said, “I mean, I know I destroyed Marco Matterazzi when I headbutted him, but imagine the damage I could have done with a helmet like this. This really would have taught that Italian ogre to say stuff about my mother.”

FIFA officials admitted that they had originally created the award to reward players for scoring goals or making brilliant passes with their heads. Said Sepp Blatter, FIFA president, “Ideally, this award would have gone to someone who had scored two or three goals with their head during the tournament. Heck, we were even considering awarding it to someone who just ‘used their head’ and played a smart game of soccer. But, in the end, we had to stick to the true language of the award and give it to the player who had had the biggest impact with his head. Really, can anyone argue there was a more momentous use of one’s head than when Zidane knocked Matterazzi off his feet with a headbutt to the sternum? And Matterazzi is no small guy!”

Zidane proudly displays his Golden Helmet Award

Baby Panda

If you get bored at work and want to watch a black and white bear follow it’s mom around all day, you can watch the Panda Cam at the Smithsonian National Zoo (scroll halfway down the linked page to see the little bugger in live action). Enjoy.

Intriguing Offal Breaks Through

Finally, some recognition for this blog. I slave away at least 1 hour / week on this puppy, and, up until now, have yet to reap any profit or praise for my work. I was just days away from quitting blogging altogether, when I received a notice asking me to fly to LA for a blog festival award ceremony at the Kodak Theatre (all expenses paid). Unfortunately, I will have to accept the award by videoconference, because I have to meet with my colleagues on the Nobel Prize committee to begin reviewing this year’s nominees. Right after that, I have to fly to Berlin for the World Cup Finals. They’ve asked me to take Barthez’ in place in goal (if the French make it), or to be the center ref (if the French don’t make). I’m still quite honored by the blog award, though. Also, check out the sweet banner they made for my blog. I think I’ll tatoo it on my back.

Window to the Sky

I took this one day in Canyonlands National Park.

A Giant Meteor Hitting the Earth

In case you haven’t seen it yet, a Japanese group made an animation of what would happen if a giant meteor hit the Earth. It’s 7.5 minutes long, but I think it’s worth watching. Click on the image below for the link to the video. It’s important to emphasize that this meteor is not some little 3 mile rock. The group who made the video describe the meteor as having a diameter roughly the breadth of the island of Honshu, which, according to Wikipedia ranges from 50 to 230 km wide. Basically, it’s huge. Huge enough that Bruce, Billy Bob, and Ben aren’t going to save us, no matter how hot Liv is. My advice is to not worry about the odds of this happening to us and enjoy the video.

One more comment/question:

If this did happen, would you rather be:

1) Right in the impact zone of the meteor, so that you were crushed by the big rock instantaneously (after getting to see the coolest eclipse ever),

2) On the total opposite side of the Earth so that you get roughly 6 minutes to live and then get to see the biggest fire ever (i.e. buildings burning and oceans evaporating),

or

3) An astronaut on the spacestation, where you’d get to see the whole thing for real, and then know that you were totally hosed because you can’t ever go home?

Along this line, do astronauts get cyanide pills or do they just open the door to space and start floating away? Because if I were an astronaut up at Mir with Lance Bass and Dennis Tito with no hope of going home, I think I’d take the longest walk ever rather than try to restart society on the moon with them.

It’s just a bad slogan

The other day on the way home from work, I saw this bumper sticker on the back of someone's car:

I don't really feel like delving deep into the merits and demerits of the fur industry, though I will agree that there is some pretty heinous stuff associated with the making of fur coats. My main gripe here is the use of the "Fur Kills" slogan. I just don't think it makes sense. Sure, the process of making fur coats kills. But fur doesn't kill. Guns kill, swords kill, nunchucks and bowstaffs kill, but fur doesn't kill. Don't get me wrong, I can surely imagine a scenario where fur could kill. For example, this woman below could put her coat on backwards and the hood could suffocate her while she struggles to get it off and put it on the right way. But, the last time I checked, Colonel Mustard was NOT killed by Professor Plum with the mink boa in the conservatory.

Sexy Smells

The results of a recent study indicate that sexual attraction may have a lot to do with smell. Of course it does, you say. After all, no matter how great that guy on the bus might look in his tight jeans, if he smells like he just won the Manure-Flavored Jello Wrestling Championships, there’s no way he’s getting in my pants.

This study actually goes a bit further than just suggesting that smell contributes to sexual attraction. The researchers used positron emission tomography (PET) to monitor the brain activity of a group of lesbian women, heterosexual women, homosexual men, and heterosexual men when exposed to various phermones. They found that the anterior hypothalamus (the part of the brain that regulates metabolic process, that links the nervous system to the endocrine system by secreting brain hormones, and that responds to odor stimuli) of the homosexual men and the heterosexual women was activated when the volunteers were exposed to AND. AND is a progesterone derivative that is found in 10 times higher levels in men’s sweat than in women’s sweat. They also found that the heterosexual men had activity in their hypothalamus when exposed to EST (an estrogen-like molecule found in the urine of pregnant women).

The interesting part for me were the results for the lesbian women. Apparently, the lesbian women responded similarly to both AND and EST, and, although there was activity in the hypothalamus in response to EST, the response was not nearly as strong as it was for the heterosexual men. Comments:

1) It definitely appears that sexual attraction is tied into neurochemical processes in the brain.

2) Sexual attraction seems to be different (regarding the actual brain activity in response to certain phermones) in men then it is in women.

3) This really says nothing about whether homosexuality is learned or genetic, because all of the people studied were adults. However, let’s assume that in 10 years they are able to test infants for their propensity to be attracted to certain male or female scents. Can you imagine how crazy our society would go debating the merits / ethics of such a test?

4) Is it just me, or is it really funny that the two phermones that the researchers picked are found in male sweat and in female urine? I mean, can you really imagine two less “sexy” fluids to be turned on by? At least it wasn’t boogers..

In-N-Out Burger for Dinner

Too bad for all of you who don't live in California because you can't stop here and get dinner on your way home…

Old School In-N-Out on Walnut Street in Pasadena