Zidane Awarded Golden Helmet

Despite losing in the World Cup Final to Italy yesterday, Zinedine Zidane has been lauded with awards today. This morning, it was announced that he had been awarded the Golden Ball (awarded to the tournament’s MVP). Now, we are thrilled to break the news that Zidane has also been awarded the Golden Helmet (see image below). The Golden Helmet, a trophy that looks like the World Cup Trophy with a gold viking helmet affixed to the top of it, is a new award. From now on, it will be awarded to the player who has had the biggest impact on the tournament with his head.

Zidane was proud to be the first player ever to be awarded the Golden Helmet. While he was lovingly caressing the trophy, he paused on the long white horns and said, “I mean, I know I destroyed Marco Matterazzi when I headbutted him, but imagine the damage I could have done with a helmet like this. This really would have taught that Italian ogre to say stuff about my mother.”

FIFA officials admitted that they had originally created the award to reward players for scoring goals or making brilliant passes with their heads. Said Sepp Blatter, FIFA president, “Ideally, this award would have gone to someone who had scored two or three goals with their head during the tournament. Heck, we were even considering awarding it to someone who just ‘used their head’ and played a smart game of soccer. But, in the end, we had to stick to the true language of the award and give it to the player who had had the biggest impact with his head. Really, can anyone argue there was a more momentous use of one’s head than when Zidane knocked Matterazzi off his feet with a headbutt to the sternum? And Matterazzi is no small guy!”

zidane awarded gold helmet

Zidane proudly displays his Golden Helmet Award

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2 Comments on “Zidane Awarded Golden Helmet”

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